How To Lose Your Identity In 10 Ways

Don’t worry, this isn’t a sequel to How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, and it's not about how Kate Hudson runs an office whilst losing her identity to the internet(while maybe announcing details of her faux relationship online to pen an article ‘#Baegoal’). Instead, I’ve assembled a list of some of the most obvious ways yet still most committed means to curate the perfect recipe for an internet disaster. Social media has given us the incredible power to maintain relationships across the world, efficiently document our lives, and network like crazy – but the abundant advantages of self-promotion and cross-cultural connection are uncomfortably met with the uneasy question: are we really who we say we are? Superficially, it may appear that we are constantly on the phone with good reason. But the more we ignorantly grasp for intangible pleasure, the less we really tangible have; the more we look outward, the less we gaze inward, where our real nature and gratification lie. Yes, technology is amazing, but it disrupts our true nature, from moods to creativity, productivity, education, sleep patterns, relationships with friends and loved ones, metabolism and self-esteem. The following provides an in-depth analysis on how your daily activities can lead to your identity being hacked by social media.

Focus on Posting than Being Present

If it’s not documented, it didn’t happen

No longer can you meet your friends for lunch and excitedly tell them about the hilarious thing your pet did last night because they’ve already seen it on your Snapchat. The simple phrase “I know, I saw your story” has become a conversation terminator, which only further prompts us to scroll through social media, or take a snapshot of our food, to fill the conversational void. The problem with mass documentation of our lives is not only that we miss out on truly experiencing the moment as it happens, but it also limits what we have to talk about with our peers. It’s a vicious cycle that can only be interrupted with deliberate intention.

Living on Likes

If your picture doesn’t get more than five likes, delete it.

Social network enables us to like everything from statuses to photos, to pages, to comments. The platform lives on likes, so its inherent design is already narcissistically twisted. We are incentivized to share content that will generate the most love – positive moments of vacations, cute outfits, and delicious food. This is the breeding grounds for confidence and pride but also vicious envy. We become so wrapped up in our own lives or sickly crave jealousy to such a degree that we carelessly disregard others’ feelings for our own online presence and perception. We are so consumed by the number of likes we rack up on any given post; we often go as far to checking our phone every 30 seconds to keep track of any additional likes. It’s as if we achieve some natural, social media high from witnessing the number of likes increase, almost becoming aroused as the number climbs. More than the arousal, we actually feel mildly depressed when a post doesn’t meet our minimum requirement for likes.

Dishonest Representation

Forget your friends, just post pictures of them to keep them happy

How can anyone maintain a healthy connection by letting the world know every detail about their relationship? I’m not talking about the occasional photo or video share but twenty-four-hour news coverage about your relationship can be detrimental. There’s no secret that modern society uses social media to create a view into lives that don’t really exist. From fake Instagram couples that earn money promoting products to acne-zapping app filters that give you flawless skin, today’s innovations in social media allow us to delude our friends and followers into thinking we’re something we’re not. We live through our screens, but unfortunately, what we share is not always our true selves. You have your real self- the crux of your being and personality, and then your ideal self, the person you wish to become. The social media world has drowned out the voice of reality and intensified our alter ego to the extent that who we are portraying is the hyper-version of our ideal selves. Social media has given us the power to present exactly who we want to be while simultaneously depicting ourselves dishonestly.

Seek Constant Validation

Click pictures of your delicious burger to let the world know you’re having it

We want to appear intelligent, introspective, and insightful so we spend considerable time creating a killer Facebook status or tweet. We want to appear beautiful and sexy so we spend hours pulling together the right outfit, poses, and pouts for the perfect selfie. Photos and snaps of intimate moments and mechanical smiles are shared to make relationships seem worthwhile. Are we seeking an acceptance of some kind by obsessing over showing off every fancy meal we didn’t cook or crafting that perfect copy-pasted humorous caption? It’s easy to see why people want validation when they try to appeal to other humans across this vast social network. In most part, these are other humans that they have never, and will never meet. We seek acceptance in places that exist in a purely virtual world we call the internet.

Master the Art of Pretending

Click a picture with your make up on and hashtag #NoMakeUpSelfie

A recent survey has found around two-thirds of people on social media post images to their profiles to make their lives seem more adventurous. It’s our instinct to blame the media for our poor perceptions of reality and the ways in which we compare ourselves to idealistic standards. It may have been the airbrushed models in magazines and the seemingly flawless lifestyles of celebrities that made us feel like boring little trolls in comparison. However, we are now our own worst enemies because of the way we’ve distorted and manipulated our social media presentations. We’re creating a culture of self-comparison that did not previously exist. We become so sucked into constructing a certain image of ourselves that we lose sight of experiencing the moment in real life, instead of capturing it specifically for social media. In doing so, we are not fully soaking in our travels, special occasions, life-changing events, or just a gorgeous view of the sunset but subconsciously envisioning its effect on social media and then meticulously editing the result. Our everyday lives appear candid and surreal, but we have mastered the art of pretending we are perfect.

Manipulate Your Looks

Just a tinge of Photoshop

Historically, we’ve blamed magazine airbrushing on the creation of unrealistic body standards and unattainable lifestyles. With social media, we’ve found a way to publically alter ourselves so those images do actually seem achievable to the layman. We can blur our cellulite without even using Photoshop. We can whiten our teeth, augment our skin color, and angle ourselves to show our impossibly small waistlines – all with cheap or even free filters and apps on our phones. This culture of warranted approval is just as manipulated and false as the images and status updates we post. We compare ourselves to the altered, the filtered, the airbrushed, and the edited. And we enhance, enrich, and embellish ourselves online in such an exaggerated manner that what are being ‘liked’ are not really even us anymore. Yet we still relish in the thumbs up and hearts we receive.

Set Unrealistic #Goals

Who needs a job when you can have a #goal-worthy selfie?

The definition of a “goal” is simple, at least according to Webster: “something you are trying to do or achieve.” According to the Internet, however, a “goal” is a picture of a sharp jawline, a cheesy couple, or an overrated lip kit. What about realistic goals that include working hard for a well-deserved promotion? The trending term, which also pairs neatly with prefixes such as “life,” “body,” “hair,” “Squad,” and “relationship,” is tongue-in-cheek, lazy, and purposefully self-deprecating. A “goal” in this context is something aspirational and outlandish, a perceived quality of life that we categorize as unattainable. By deeming something out of reach, we’re commenting on it as much as we are our own limitations. Kim Kardashian let the world see her latest haircut, but by glorifying unattainable goals—after all, that haircut was cut, colored, styled, and photographed by top-tier professionals—we’re permitting ourselves to wave a white flag of inferiority. When we are so mindlessly consumed by our social media perception we lose sight of our own real attributes and thereby our genuine self-worth as we relentlessly scroll, click, and feel pressured to live up to nearly unobtainable versions of ourselves, conveniently chipping away at inner peace, self-acceptance.

Follow to Unfollow

Followers before friends

An old friend who faithfully follows you on your social network for years “to keep in touch” suddenly unfollows you. You are trying to remember what went wrong in your relationship, but you can skip the contemplation, mostly because some people think it’s a status thing to have a lot of followers while not following many people themselves, including friends. Most accounts that do this will follow you in hopes that you follow back, thus gaining them a new follower. Since you did not follow back, they would unfollow you to make up for not gaining a follower. If you follow back, some accounts would still unfollow so their “followers-following” ratio looks better. This happens all the time by people desperate for a large following and popularity in hopes to have more followers than they are following. This vicious cycle continues, leading to a profound addition to your followers, and a deduction in real relationships.

Endorsing Profanity and Inappropriate Content

Cussing and sharing explicit memes is the new thing

It’s common to have a history of posting awkward things — the many bitter break-up tweets and whiny, “I’m bored,” statuses; but lately, things have been even more controversial than usual. With funeral selfies, political rants and sexual pictures, people seem to be pushing the boundaries of what is private and public, what offends and what is OKAY. The newest issue is swearing. There is no restriction on Facebook or Twitter forbidding this, but it has caused people to take sides on what is right to put on public pages and what should be left for private conversations. Swearing is unnecessarily crude, and not cool. Often, the biggest problem people have is with the image swearing-filled statuses send to younger Facebook and Twitter users. When I mentioned cussing, you are probably picturing teenagers ranting about how mad they are at someone. Ironically, the people who are cursing are not even angry; it is just their everyday talk. Furthermore, using crude language and putting inappropriate images on the internet reflects a person’s character. College admissions officers and prospective employers often consider one’s social media footprint. What one puts on the internet not only represents the student but the college the student attends and the student’s job. Lacking appropriate grammar and using foul language show managers and other bystanders that you are immature. Not only has that, swearing demonstrated your lack of respect for others and yourself. In addition, people who cuss regularly are often seen as uneducated because it is believed they lack the knowledge and ability to find a more suitable way to describe what they are trying to say. In other words, swearing shows a lack of vocabulary and laziness. Rather than making the effort to articulate, you result to swearing because it is easy and comfortable.

Posting inappropriate selfies of yourself and illegal activities can lead to a negative image in the eyes of your potential employers–not to mention your peers. Once an image is posted, it can be found; no matter if it was deleted or if you thought the connection was private. Better to steer clear and just not post anything potentially scandalous altogether. Explicit posts shared online, with no consideration that the post could be viewed by your young cousin in your friend-list, target young children who are subjected to share online pornography and sexual content, not knowing the dangers, like pedophiles and child predators. People should understand the consequences their actions can have if they put undesirable posts on the internet and that social media always leaves footprints. Your past can ultimately dictate your future by one thoughtless post.

Follow Trends Blindly

Risk your life for attention and fame

Social media has been a vehicle for some of the dumbest trends ever concocted. The ease of recording and uploading these files makes it so easy. All you need is a smartphone and a two-bit data plan. While a lot of these trends stay in the stupid zone, many of them cross the line into being dangerous. A trend, with overwhelming forces of peer pressure and desire to be” cool” will compel many teens to keep following it, regardless of the risks. ‘Neknomination’ involved filming oneself downing a large alcoholic drink; then nominating three friends to do the same within 24 hours. With each person nominating another three people, the trend spread like wildfire across the globe. The trend was weird on its own but the drinks hit new levels of absurd, as one downed a glass of water with a live goldfish in it, and another drank a glass of gin that had a dead mouse soaked in it. The dangers of downing such large quantities of alcohol in one go are too many to count and led to recorded deaths.

Social Networking sites have its fair share of dangerous, destructive and ill-advised trends, but even by those standards, the “fire challenge” hits new lows. The so-called challenge consists of pouring rubbing alcohol on oneself, lighting it on fire, and putting the resulting blaze out before you sustain third-degree burns and/or burn your house down. Needless to say, not everyone succeeds- resulting in severe burns. The fine line between stupid and dangerous seemingly doesn’t exist in social media. Following up on the dumbest online trends have serious consequences, that includes death, scarring and going to jail, yet you can find countless videos online of people indulging in it.

Upon realizing the destructive repercussions social media poses, we might be compelled to grow cynical and reject all forms of social media to feel whole again. But it is not absolutely necessary to quit something that holds so much technological and communicative benefit for our mobile generation. However, we should drastically change how we utilize social media. Curbing our social media addiction is the first step; offline time is essential in maintaining peace of mind and clarity. Furthermore, understanding that not every little thing is reserved for the social media realm, and therefore other people’s consumption, is vital to freeing ourselves from the clutches of the Internet. Those moments with friends, family, or a partner aren’t always meant to be carefully crafted snapshots of our lives for others to envy. They lose their treasured meaning when their intimacy is exposed. Instead of living our lives by what we will post next, we should focus on actually living and accumulating experiences without obligatorily pressing upload.

HOW TO SAVE YOURSELF IN 10 WAYS?

If you feel like it’s all getting a bit much, or if social media is taking up all your time and energy do try some of these tips.

• Take a break from your phone.

• Leave your phone at home every now and then.

• Sleep without your phone in bed- let it rest too.

• Get out in nature and cherish the beauty around through your eyes, and not through your phone’s lenses.

• Delete apps from your phone every now and then. Don’t worry, your accounts aren’t running away.

• Get regular exercise, NOT so you can document it online, but because it can make you feel good.

• Believe when your friends compliment you, and not your online followers.

• Eat without declaring your food to the world by posting endless pictures of it online- “It’s just a meal, not a competition”.

• Live for yourself, and not for your virtual followers.

• Fine tune yourself-esteem. It’s really what it’s all about.